The trouble in the workplace 1: isolate the source of your misery David B. Bohl
In a recent blog, entitled The secret of happiness, I touch on the concept of subjective well-being, or SWB for short. Subjective well-being refers to the current assessment of a person's happiness. It includes:
The feeling of satisfaction one feels his life, both in general and in specific areas, such as relationships, health and work.
Lack of depression and anxiety.
positive moods and emotions.
If you're unhappy at work, and or not satisfied with your work (yes, there is a difference), it is tempting to point fingers at the culprits and situations. Examples might be:
A boss who does not take seriously your suggestions.
A subordinate who violates your authority permanently.
"Encounters" which, instead of serving as a sounding idea and drivers of productivity, are becoming breakdown sessions. We believe that these people or scenarios as obstacles to success. They become immobile obstacles that prevent us from achieving our goals and subsequently contribute to our displeasure in a very big way. We blame all aspects of our existence in the workplace reveals that "troublesome", "difficult" or "difficult".
And in doing so, we allow these people and situations to overcome us. We give them the upper hand, giving up our personal power and we are sinking into the abyss of despair. We feel "defeated" by the forces of life outside our control.
Once our subjective well-being has officially hit rock bottom, everything becomes a vicious circle. We believe that our work and our working relationship as negative, so we position with a negative attitude. Our negative attitude leads us to adopt a passive or defensive position. Because we are passive and defensive instead of active and open, we attract more negativity into our lives daily work. And the cycle continues.
As I mentioned in my post on the blog SWB, it is all in your attitude. But most do not and question: "How do I drop the bad behavior, when there are so many things I can not change?"
The secret is to realize that you CAN change. No, you can not change others, but you can change yourself. It starts with you. As you change, you change the way people react. You can learn to change behavior ... yours and that of others.
In other words, change your approach, which in turn changes the way people respond to you. When you are good at it, you'll see that the effects of your new attitude and behavior outside of training and begin to change the situation ... but it happens very gradually, and takes great effort and repeated.
And if you really find that, after giving it your best shot, things are not playing the way you want them, you can remove yourself from the situation. You can leave and begin to pursue something that is more promising and call for you. People change workplaces, jobs, careers, every day. The hardest part about this is to engage you in the new company.
For more ideas turning workplace unhappiness over his head, read Part 2 of this series.
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Copyright 2007 David B. Bohl, LLC Coaching reflections. All rights reserved.